Everyone Ever Born Cast in G.I. Joe Movie!!!!
EXCLUSIVE MOVIE NEWS has learned exclusively that everyone who has ever breathed God’s fresh air has been cast in the part of “Snake-Eyes” in the new G.I. Joe Film.
The film, which is scheduled to be screwed up by the guy who screwed up THE MUMMY franchise, will be the first movie in the history of the world to boast a credit list full of six billion names.
Said Apu Rappari, 15, of Indonesia “I am so excited to be playing Snake-Eyes!”
Similar sentiments were echoed by Marietta Cobb, 89, of Atlanta, Georgia who opined “Well… when those boys asked me if if I wouldn’t mind acting like a ninja I told ‘em I’d just love to! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
No word yet on how SAG will get a membership card out to every human on Earth but keep it locked for more exclusive news of this exact sort.
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