Posted on February 4th, 2008 by Monty "Boots" McJaybels
Little Boston, CA–Oscar winning thespian Daniel Day-Lewis disclosed plans Monday to open a nation-wide chain of milkshake parlors named There Will Be Milkshakes!, in reference to his latest film and acclaimed performance in There Will Be Blood.
When asked how his milkshake parlors would manage to compete with established ice cream franchises such as Dairy Queen and Steak and […]
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Posted on February 3rd, 2008 by Monty "Boots" McJaybels
Hollywood, CA–In a last minute press conference Sunday morning, Warner Bros. Studios surprised and delighted movie fan boys across the nation by announcing the much anticipated teaser for The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 would be revealed during the Superbowl.
“Director Sanaa Hamri has been locked in the editing room for 2 weeks straight in order to put together this exclusive spot […]
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Posted on January 31st, 2008 by Monty "Boots" McJaybels
Hollywood, CA–With the latest kill-murder rampage of 80s movie icon John J. Rambo stacking up cash at the box office 20 years after the last installment, actor-auteur Sylvester Stallone revealed his next project Thursday: back-to-back sequels to his 1987 trucker/arm wrestling opus, Over the Top, in which he played Lincoln Hawk, a ball-cap loving trucker […]
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Posted on January 21st, 2008 by Monty "Boots" McJaybels
Washington D.C.–The Department of National Holidays announced Monday Martin Luther King Jr. Day will be replaced with Tracy Turnblad Day, honoring the plump chick from Hairspray who fought for racial intergration of dancers on The Corny Collins Show.
“I know many people will be surprised, perhaps even shocked and outraged,” said Deputy Secretary of the Department of National Holidays Ed Miner during a […]
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Posted on January 18th, 2008 by Walter Black
Thanks to such films as FeardotCom and the upcoming Untraceable the Internet itself has figured out that it too can kill people. Authorities are hoping cell phones haven’t been encouraged by One Missed Call and begin killing people as well.
“It’s troubling,” said a Time Warner Cable spokesman when asked about the situation. “For so long […]
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Posted on January 16th, 2008 by Woody Webster
Los Angeles, CA - Beloved Superbad cohorts, Jonah Hill and Michael Cera, were “jumped” this week on their way out of a local Dairy Queen. Two hooded figures attacked the two actors, kicking them repeatedly in the nutsacks until they knealed over in what has been described as “indescribable pain”. Most of the attention was […]
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Posted on January 14th, 2008 by Monty "Boots" McJaybels
Across the nation’s newsrooms, distressed copy editors are working feverishly around the clock to find puns for Cloverfield related headlines. Sources indicate little headway has been made and several newspapers have signed a petition for Paramount to change the film’s title to something more accessible to puns and play on words, such as Monstrous, Wreck, […]
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Posted on January 13th, 2008 by Monty "Boots" McJaybels
In a brazen act of televison air-wave hijacking during Sunday’s NFL playoffs, movie director Dr. Uwe Boll declared to a stunned nation he would unleash a 4-hour version of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale upon the citizens of the US unless his demands were met.
“Eet iz true, I, Dr. Uwe […]
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Posted on January 11th, 2008 by Walter Black
Yes Rings fans the obvious has been revealed as Elijah Wood tells Exclusive Movie News exclusively in an exlusive interview that he, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd all played their respective Hobbit roles as gays, not that there’s anything wrong with that…
I know many out there had the same feeling I did when […]
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